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challenges, children, dreams, emotion, empty nest, family, friends, health, prayer, school, truth, work
At one time I thought I had my life together and figured out. Ha! The best laid plans of mice and men…..and pride, that darn pride.
I have spent the last several days reviewing the past two years specifically and the last many years in general. Advent is coming so it’s not an entirely bad thing to do in preparation.
Three years ago, almost this time three years ago, I took a step out in faith. I was pleased and anxious with the direction it was going: My youngest would be graduating. I had a good job. I had a good vocation. I thought I was prepared for the empty nest syndrome. I was satisfied and content with my life that I had imagined I would be living.
I did not know what would begin to take place a mere two months later. But I get ahead of myself.
I spent fifteen years raising my children on my own with no support other than my family. I managed to finish up my last two years of college by taking my then- three year old with me to class. When their father sued me for custody and took me to Court, it was a long, hellish period of time lasting at least a decade with seven years spent before the Court. (It was interesting to see how many “friends” I lost during this time.) We survived even though it was frequently beans and rice or McDonald’s $1 menu items. Name brand did not exist in our vocabularies except on rare occasions or when someone in the family gifted it. I walked or biked to work when I had no gas money. If I remember correctly, the lights were cut off a time or two. I learned to cycle my checks through so I usually didn’t bounce any. One Christmas Eve, I had no gifts for them and someone provided almost every gift under the tree that would’ve come from me. Despite the accusations, I never stole a penny from my children nor did any of the other horrible things I was said to have done. I wasn’t the best parent but I sacrificed as much as I knew how. They have both graduated high school and are now pursuing their respective dreams. I may have lost a few battles in those 15 years but I’m pretty sure I won the war.
During these same years, I also felt I was being led in a particular direction for calling. And it appeared strengthened by all that occurred back then, the biggest of which was how my funds always seemed to be there when it was time to pay for the first two years of classes. The last two years, I was funded. As it happened, all this would have finished up as my children were graduating. I was thus preparing my non-job hours with activity to take my mind off my empty nest. It seemed like part of the grander plan. I went with it. But then things became very difficult. And then more difficult. I have spent much time in tears and prayer. I am not active currently but I hope to resume my role one day. Because I still feel led, I haven’t given up. I have prayed a lot about it and God hasn’t told me to give up yet.
I finally quit my job this summer, having found myself becoming meaner and more miserable over the past several years with the last three being downright torturous. My children had always wanted me to leave that job but it had its benefits at the time. As a single parent, it was too difficult to find another with the flexibility it offered. But lately, I was not good company for anyone and certainly not for my clients. Although I cared deeply about them, it was a daily struggle to address their individual and unique situations. I really did love the job itself when it came to my particular clients. I cannot tell you how hard I cried and prayed over that situation on a daily basis! But so many times in the last year, I was a breath away from walking out the door. Eventually I quit.
I say to you who are kind enough to read this far that God has been in these events in His powerful (although sometimes unnervingly quiet) way.
I gave my children over to Him when they were baptized. I meant it when I said it and still do. And I thank Him for both their trials and successes. The things that happened during those years, I know He was answering my prayers and of those who prayed for us. That is their story to tell.
I gave my job over to Him. I applied for so many minimum wage jobs in the past year just to get out of there. One of the few non-minimum wage jobs I applied for over the past year, and the only one recently, is my current job. Once again, this is His doing. I am beyond blessed to be working in a kinder, gentler environment where you are happily greeted every day by everybody and where work events are not shrouded in secrecy or conspiracy. Out of all the secretarial jobs I applied for, this is the one I was given. Clients come to me wanting help. Sorry, that’s truly a God thing.
I gave my life over to Him. And He has since blessed me with an incredibly wonderful Christian man. No matter what you think of either of us individually or as a couple, we are beyond blessed in what we have found in each other. We pray that you share in our happiness not put us down or judge.
Together, we have undertaken a journey with Plexus. It is also a blessing, definitely in God’s Hands. I know Cliff is very enthusiastic in his praise of the products and the company. Know that I am too, but two voices shouting would be even more unbearable. It is an understatement that we both love the products. We truly believe in them. It’s not a sales pitch. We have changed our lives for the better because of them. Two years ago, neither of us would have imagined a life beyond our respective couches and front doors. We were both dealing with depression, being overweight, and a host of other problems. Our lives speak to what Plexus has done for us and what it can do for others. We are developing our ministry from Plexus in that we are able to provide products to a few who cannot afford them but truly need them. I do not know how much more we can show our belief. Our lives, our families’ lives, and some friends’ lives have all changed. We welcome others on this journey with Plexus.